Part II: God

How to write a testimony or testament of faith skip ahead (it’s ok)

Tuesday, May 15, 2023, 0212hrs.

None of this is about me; it’s about God.

I sat, anxiety-ridden about this previously blank page, trying to find words to match the Grace and Forgiveness He has shown me for letting Him down. I turned to Scripture in prayer, “God, guide me.”

I’m sure you can imagine it as an intense moment, praying with God about how to define my relationship with Him and so too, my purpose– a coming of age, like graduation day, or receiving your tribal totem animal. Would He guide me to one of the women worth writing home about, Ruth or Esther? Or maybe Job or Moses will be the literary backdrop for my testimony. God chuckled, “Cliché. Trust Me.”

I open my Bible to… drum roll… LAMENTATIONS?! The entire Book of Lamentations. I refrained from speaking—God’s chuckle, now a rolling, almost maniacal, unending laugh. A telling treasure of the surety, my foot and mouth will soon say hello.

Finally, He said, “Read it. Bet it’s perfect.”

“I’ll read it,” I said, “I think I’ve learnt my lesson on the bets.”

“Bet you have.” He winked and left me to read.

I read it. I wept, truly wept, and not because of the foreshadowing aftertaste of foot.

Allow me to summarize Lamentations, written by the prophet Jeremiah, aka The Weeping Prophet, a title earned from his rather emotional way of being. A real drama king, Bless his heart! Lamentations is relatively short, with only five chapters. Chapters 1, 2, 4 & 5 were written as acrostic poems, each verse beginning with a letter from the Hebrew alphabet in logical order, giving each four chapters 22 verses. Chapter 3 has a repetition of three, with each letter of the Hebrew alphabet heading a poem three times (aaa, bbb, ccc, etc.), for a total of 66 verses. If, at the fall of our society (aka the end of the world), we are left with only one book, The Holy Bible, Lamentations would teach us all we need to know about how to rebuild everything; **spoiler alert** LANGUAGE IS THE KEY!

Jerusalem has just been Holy slapped in the face, by God, through the hand of its mortal enemy, Babylon, predicted by the prophet Micah and reiterated by Jeremiah himself.

Jeremiah walked among the ruin of his once great city, tearfully dumbfounded. God’s people, his people, the chosen people, forgot God. They forgot the God of the flood, the God of the parted Red Sea, the God of twin city destruction, the God who so many times said NO STATUES, I AM GOD, the God of the CHOSEN CITY, JERUSALEM. God’s people, his people, forgot. Choosing rum, sodomy, and CHILD CANNIBALISM instead!!!!!! **Ahem, Yellowjackets. No judgment**/**Ahem, vaccines** Undoubtedly a hard pill to swallow, your friends and family chose to eat their own children over worshiping God! Babylon wielded the weapons, but the only one responsible for the fall of Jerusalem was Jerusalem.

Still, Jeremiah finds hope, the pain unlocking his creative freedom, the freedom he needed to be the beacon of hope in Jerusalem’s darkest hour. Lamentations almost reads as mournful propaganda to cue the memory of who Jerusalem is; I can hear the echoes of his people chanting, “CHOSEN! CHOSEN! CHOSEN!” as he finished reading it to the repentant.

It’s simple, God’s simple; love God with all your being, not half of it, not the part that’s convenient for you, ALL OF IT! Follow this rule, keep the God-given Law, and life will be abundant, long, painless, and easy. The alternative, lose everything and succumb to the shame of eating your babies, choose wisely.


“God, I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve air in my lungs, let alone Your voice in my ear. I don’t understand, and may never understand, why You want to speak to me. I’m not worthy. For as long as I remember, You were there. I heard You, You warned me, but I didn’t listen. Still, You stayed right there with me. I denied Your existence. Still, You stayed. I sought other gods before You. Still, You stayed. I invoked the ancestors and woke the spirits. Still, You stayed. You showed me the dark, painful path; You showed me the loss of my children; I CHOSE to test You, God; I treated You like a game; I knew I would lose; I thought I could prove You wrong. Still, You stayed. In all the dark, cold, lonely nights, when all others were gone, You stayed God. You stayed; you still Graced me with Your Presence. You became my Only True Friend, my Only Comfort, my Only Muse, my Only. Without You, I am nothing. My life, all that’s left, is eternally Yours, if You’ll still have me?” I pray after reading.

“[redacted](See Part I: The Void), I love you so much. I forgive you. I give you My words, GO PREACH, little darlin’!” God said to me. “Fist bump?”

“God, please hug me?” I asked.

Holy Moses, y’all, God cried, my Heavenly Father cried.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
Maker of heaven and earth; And in Jesus Christ, a great prophet, like a son to our Lord;
who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He rose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the Right Hand of God the Father Almighty.
From thence, He shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Ghost,
the holy Church*, (I chose to remove the word catholic, a consequence I can live with..)
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

**Here for ‘How to write a testimony or testament of faith’? God gave me the following instructions;

  1. Be yourself!
  2. Choose a theme central to God’s miracle in your life (Ex: Living with the consequence of sin.)
  3. Keep it simple. God said 500 words or less. (He didn’t count the summation of Lamentations, these helpful tips, or the Apostles Creed.) (500 words!)
  4. Don’t cuss.

Need an example? See here.